Well… I’m back… I haven’t had the time or made the time since Myspace to blog, but I figured now’s a good time to crank it back up! Let’s skip the 13 year gap and jump right in though!So why am I making my comeback? Well, I’m getting old, and I have a one week old baby now fresh out the NICU (that’s obviously her above…) I want her to be able to see/read what I was actually like before I’m blind, cripple and crazy(er) in my old age. Anyway, she’s adorable as heck; If she doesn’t stimulate your ovaries into wanting one, nothing will (at least I think so, but I’ve been known to be biased.) I mean, technically, she could be as weird looking as some of the other babies I see on the internet, and I just not know it. She’s a combination of her mom and me, and her mom is straight, I’m decent, so naturally I think a combination of the two should be decent as well (or appealing to my eyes?)
I do feel a certain kind of way though… I low key/high key, actually, feel as if my friends were praying for her to have her moms fine hair, and not my coarse hair. I mean, I have wonderful coarse hair, I just choose not to fool with it these days; I stopped the hair thing in 2015, but that’s another blog… (the sponge look kinda saved me; it came back just in time to blame my untamed mane on the newest fashion hair trend thingy)
(photo compliments of my no good friends)
But I digress.. or did I digress? Not sure where I’m going here, but I never do. I did go out on a recent “we both have kids or kids on the way double date” the other day. That was cool… (that’s all I have for now) I did notice that kids under 12 eat for free on the menu… That’s not too shabby. Technically, I’ve never paid that close attention to stuff like that, but now I’m now creating a cheat sheet of places where my little crumb snatcher can eat for free! I will say this though; the Economics major in me thinks this is a marketing gimmick. Of course kids under 12 should eat for free; they’re stomachs aren’t that big anyway. It’s either eat for free, or she eat off my plate… I’m not buying a little stomach person any food in the first place; she’s going to learn sharing very early… Daddy’s left-overs are your delicacies Baby!
But anyway, where was I… I’ve been hanging out with my same friends that already had kids during the regular years in life, and didn’t wait as long as me; Needless to say, there’s definitely been a shift in topics we discuss. Side note, I recommend everyone wait to have kids… It gives your friends time to progress in their careers, become rich, and buy some amazing baby shower gifts! Shoutout to my friends (like for real). I must admit, I did use one of the gift cards to purchase some organic deodorant paste stuff I saw on TV one night (they scared me into thinking I’d get armpit cancer from using my regular antiperspirant – I don’t want armpit cancer.) It actually works believe it or not, but, that’s coming from a guy who hasn’t really left the house in a few days. Speaking of hygiene, late hours, and a new little human… I’ll save that for another day…
Back to my new little human that I simply call, “Baby” most of the time- Not like Cash Money’s Baby, but my special Baby… stay focused me… Ok, well, I absolutely love her. She’s not really a crybaby from what I can tell (even though there’s a thin line between her “smile face” and “I’m about to cry face.”
She sleeps well, but what do I know? I only know what I’ve read, and that’s it. I’m an only child, and I only liked a few kids my whole life (I can actually name them), and I’ve never even changed a diaper until recently. Speaking of diapers- not a fan. I love you Baby, but good Lordt, this diaper thing is something else. Thank goodness for Momma and Grandma’s… I will say, however, that I do appreciate the rumble and vibration of you pooping on my forearm. I’ll take it that I make you feel just that comfortable?
Which reminds me, Baby… Let’s talk Kanye (medicated ‘ye, because there’s a difference…) there are two songs that remind me of you right now… “Violent Crimes (80% of the song)” and “Lift Yourself (2nd verse),” when you’re old enough to listen, I’ll explain (even though the lyrics are self-explanatory.)
Baby is waking up… gotta go! (feel free to comment your baby raising tips below… I’m sure there’s room for them)
Kevin “Travel Dad” Knight